I think of myself as a pretty resilient person. For me, resiliency is my capacity to cope with life’s curve balls.
Well just a little while ago, in a period of one week, I had to deal with several losses and disappointments, both in my personal and professional life, and by the end of the week, I felt like I had been pummelled by a whole lot of curve balls!
So, all of this got me thinking about resilience. Just how do I or others manage challenges, loss, and disappointments?
The perfect opportunity presented itself when it was my turn to lead a peer mentoring meeting about resilience. A timely discussion for all of us as we were all having to manage and deal with various challenges and disappointments.
We each had our own ways of dealing with things and I thought it would be useful to share with you some of the methods we personally use.
What can you do to be more resilient?
💜 Be gentle and kind to yourself - things are not always going to go your way. It doesn't make you a failure if you didn't get the project; win that award; or if you receive negative customer feedback. Stop and check in with yourself about how you are feeling and accept those feelings as your reality as those feelings are true for you.
💜 Take the time you need to "grieve" over a loss, a disappointment or not getting the outcome you had planned for. Processing emotions and thoughts is different for everyone. You don't need to "get over it" in an hour or a day. Take the time you need to process and then make a conscious decision to move forward with action if that is what you need to do or just move forward taking one step at a time, even baby steps.
💜 Don't be attached to the outcome. As mentioned earlier, you don't always get the outcome you had planned for. When this happens to me, I don't look at it as a failure but rather a growth opportunity. More on this in a minute.
💜 Don't compete and compare yourself with others as this is a very quick way to circle the drain of negativity. Rather compete with yourself. If a project didn't go well or you didn't achieve the outcome or goals, you had set out then review the goals. Were the goals achievable in the time frame you gave yourself? Were the goals too big? Did you have the support and resources you needed to achieve the goals? Ask yourself, what did you learn from the experience (and not the “failure”)? What will you do differently next time? How can you accomplish this task more efficiently or effectively?
💜 Remember that you are not your emotion, you are just having an emotion. So, if you want to change your emotion, change your thoughts. An emotion is just that - a thought.
💜 Remember to breathe! When we are stressed, angry, sad, etc. we are more than likely not taking big breaths but rather shallow breaths, reducing the amount of O2 going to our brain and our body. By breathing deeply, this will help to lower tension and relieve stress. More O2 will also help you think better.
💜 Get out in nature! An excellent way to de-stress and to change your frame of mind is to spend some time with Mother Nature. To spend time outdoors and to be fully present in her warmth and life, to listen to the birds sing, to smell the earthy fragrance of the plants and soil; to feel the wind in your hair; and to feel the warm and soothing sun on your face, will go a long way in changing your mood. Like a mother's hug, being in nature will increase the wonderful feeling of well-being and flood your body with 'feel good' hormones. Who doesn't want some of that!
I hope that you found this article useful and that you have had an insight or two about just how resilient you are.
What do you do to cope with life’s curve balls?